The one where I save my herbs from certain death

The worst thing about buying herbs is you get one or two uses out of it before the freshness starts to fade, and you're left with an entire bunch rotting into that fetid dark green mucus at the bottom of your crisper drawer. Suck.

Fortunately, I become a martyr when it comes to saving the unsalvageable, so in near tragedy, I hold out one vain hope: to put that shit in a blender and purée the fuck out of it. Tonight I remembered there were just such asshole herbs in my fridge, so put that shit in a blender did I, and purée the fuck out of it I did.

Herb Purée

Leafy greens of the offending herb (parsley, cilantro, basil, tarragon...caveat: no woody herbs like thyme or rosemary, this recipe works best aesthetically with brightly-colored ones)

Juice of half a lemon

A pinch of kosher salt

Canola or any neutral-flavored oil (olive oil is too aromatic and will mask the flavor of the base herb)

Place all ingredients in a blender with the exception of the oil. Switch on the blender and slowly pour the oil in a thin, steady stream until the mixture turns into a green paste.  When you can run your finger through the mixture and it falls back into itself, the purée is ready. Divide it into small ziploc bags, and refrigerate overnight- if not using the next day, freeze until needed.

Now comes the fun part sort of! Save the stems and steep them in a broth or stock. Use the purée as a garnish for soups, sauté shallots and blend both into softened butter as an accompaniment to thin white fish fillets, spread it on sandwich bread, or blend it into a simple white wine or cream sauce. Or...hang on, I can't talk anymore. Cookie Monster is on Top Chef All-Stars, and it is making my life. How come no one on this show can ever make a damn dessert?