Slow-cooker bbq chicken thighs

My boyfriend is super impatient about dinner, and it infuriates me. Almost all the meals I make take no less than an hour to cook, and to an ADHD adult, that is goddamn forever. Still this has in no way hedged my habit of making a production; I braise with abandon, and when Jason asks "when will it be ready, again?" I tend to take a mite longer than need be just to let him know that good food is worth the wait. As a result, he has learned to add 30 minutes of cooking time to whatever I initially project, and I satiate his appetite with a salad somewhere in the middle just so he will shut the fuck up. After all, the kid was living on frozen dinners, canned soup, cereal, and chic-fil-a before we started dating.

Ugh, I know. You're like "Bitch, I don't know your life!"

Slow-cooker bbq chicken thighs


10 chicken thighs
1 cup Heinz ketchup (Hunt's is fucking disgusting, don't use that shit)
2 Tbsp Dijon mustard
1/2 cup apple cider vinegar
1/3 cup packed light brown sugar
1 jalapeno, halved lengthwise
1 tsp. liquid smoke
1 Tbsp Sriracha
1 Tbsp onion powder
2 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp ground coriander
1/4 tsp cinnamon
4 cloves garlic
2 Tbsp fresh oregano
1 bay leaf
Kosher salt

Place the chicken thighs in a large bowl.
Mix all other ingredients together and pour over the chicken. Toss the chicken in the sauce, being sure to coat each thigh with a thick layer of it.
Put the sauced chicken in your crock-pot, and cook on the high setting for three hours.
Skim all the fat off the top, and remove the hot thighs (heh). Discard the fat. Using a fork and knife, pull the meat off the bone and add it back to the sauce. Set aside the bones to make chicken stock later, or do like I did and rinse out the crock pot, put the bones back in the pot, fill it to the top with water, and simmer overnight for a rich stock ready in the morning.

BONUS! Salad time.

Teh best roasted garlic dressing ever


1 head garlic
1/2 cup extra-virgin olive oil
2 Tbsp mayonnaise
1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
1/2 cup red wine vinegar
Kosher salt

Take a large-ish square of tin foil and set it aside. Set the oven to 325F.
Remove the garlic cloves, peel, and set on the foil. Sprinkle about a tablespoon of oil on top and make a packet out of the foil. Set in the oven and roast for about 30 minutes, or until the garlic is fragrant, soft, and a light-brown hue. Let cool.
Put all ingredients in the blender besides the oil, blend, then slowly pour in the oil. Salt to taste.