Almond Joy surprise cookies aka Racial harmony cookies except all other races besides just the two

Cookies are my favorite noms with which to fux. It's not quite a dessert, but not quite a snack; it's humble, it's homey; and if you know one basic recipe, you can do a plethora of things with it. A few weeks ago I expressed my disappointment with the Top Chef crew for their inability to make a good cookie, and I stand by that. It's one thing to not be a good cook at all, but to be a chef and not have at least one cookie trick up your sleeve is unthinkable- have you never even made a batch of Nestle's for your child? It just...it flabbergasts me. The cookie for me is a metaphor for truth. It is all that's good in the world. If I had a Patronus, it would be a big, pillowy mother with halfway-melted midnight-dark chunks. If I had no home, I'd live in the house of Toll.

Almond Joy surprise cookies


1 1/2 sticks butter
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2/3 cup cocoa powder
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp kosher salt
1 8-oz. can almond paste
1/4 cup sugar
1 egg white
2 Tbsp all-purpose flour
5 oz. unsweetened flaked coconut
1/2 cup sliced almonds
6 oz. good-quality milk chocolate chips
1 tsp. shortening

Cream the butter and sugars together until light and fluffy.
Add the egg and vanilla and blend until incorporated. Scrape the bowl down with a spatula.
Sift in the flour, cocoa, soda, and add salt. blend until just homogeneous. Refrigerate.
In the meantime, make the "surprise". Clean out your mixing bowl and add the almond paste and sugar.
Mix on medium for about a minute, crack the egg in. Then add the flour. When smooth, cover the mixture with plastic wrap and freeze for at least an hour.
Pulse the almonds in your food processor for about ten seconds. Place the coconut in a bowl and mix in the almonds.

Preheat the oven to 375F.
Take the chocolate dough out of the fridge. Place a tablespoon of dough in your palm and push your thumb into the center to make an indentation.
Remove the almond mixture from the freezer. Using a 1/4 teaspoon measure, put a dab of almond in the indentation. Maish the sides around it. Roll the dough between your palms to make a ball.
Roll the ball in the almonds and coconut. Place on parchment paper on a cookie sheet. Place each cookie at least 2 inches from its neighbor. Aww, cookie neighbors!
Bake for 7-8 minutes. Cool on a cookie sheet.
Put the milk chocolate chips in a microwave-safe bowl with the shortening, and microwave in 30-second increments until the chips have completely melted. Drizzle on the tops of the cool cookies.

Oh look, it's Nolan Smith!

Surprise, y'all. It's a cookie, y'all. With some almond, y'all.