The dark side of the food

I started writing this entry much earlier in the week, but I got caught up in some unnecessary turmoil at work, and I had a sleepless night of self-conscious fits worrying about what I had done to provoke hurtful words from a coworker. My life is an open book, but I've learned in the past year to hedge my shit-talking to a minimum when on the job and when speaking about coworkers to other coworkers. Unfortunately, I didn't realize that being in a kitchen full of women wouldn't afford me the same courtesy. The social strictures of women working in a kitchen are often just as precarious as those of women outside of the workplace can be- one misstep, and you are out of favor, no matter what your previous behavior has been. I hope that I am not like this, and if I am, I would think that I have the equanimity to change that. Now on the subject of honesty...

I love country music. The other day my friend said to me "you don't seem like the kind of person who would listen to country music," and I was so happy to hear this. I consider country music and mainstream rap music similar entities- overly-simplified narrative followed by a twangy, roughneck beat. Country artists sing about the things they dig- gettin' revenge, drinkin' beer, and love. Replace "beer" with "Patron" and "love" with "fuckin'" and you've got the repertoire of any number of rappers on hip-hop radio. Flip over to a pop station, and you hear this leaking into Top 40. Such everyman, equalizing, pedestrian sentiments are heartening to me- it's not brave by any means, but it is fun as hell. Pop, country, rap- they're not meant to be profound, they're meant to make you feel good. And they do this so damn well.

My daddy and I made an accidental sides-only dinner together on Tuesday, he at the grill, I on the stove. Dad made a pork loin, which he then decided was not quite juicy enough, so he turned it into fried rice. Lately he's been getting very excited about woks, which he animates to me in florid tones and gestures. When I watched him work the wok, I saw him with new eyes- he was measured but proud of his skill, taking confident steps to do everything right, ambitious in all the right parts, rallying even greater (perhaps hubristic) gumption when mistakes were made. My dad and I are romantics and tragics in life and in the kitchen, and it's been funny to increasingly discover this as I've become and adult.

Cannellini salad


1 15-oz. can cannellini beans
1 pint cherry tomatoes
1 bulb garlic whole, plus 3 cloves minced
1 Tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
1/2 red onion, diced small
1 Tbsp minced rosemary
2 Tbsp sherry vinegar
1/2 cup shaved parmesan (Not grated, shaved! Trust me, it makes all the difference in the world; or at least half of the difference in some of the world)
Kosher salt
Freshly-ground black pepper

Set the oven on 300F.
Roast the garlic; with a sharp knife, slice the root of the garlic off the bulb, and skin each clove. Place the cloves in a square of tin foil with a bit of oil, and make a packet. Put them in the oven for about half an hour. When you handle the garlic, it should be a light brown, semi-opaque, and kinda squishy.
Strain the cannellini in a colander.
Halve the cherry tomatoes. Place beans, tomatoes, and garlics in a large bowl.
Throw in all other ingredients except for the parmesan. Toss.
Sprinkle the shaved parmesan on top. Serve family-style.

Sauteed mushrooms and parsley


2 8-oz. containers sliced baby bellas
4 Tbsp. extra-virgin olive oil
3 Tbsp. butter
Kosher salt
Freshly-ground black pepper
1/2 cup flat-leaf parsley, chopped
1/2 Tbsp white truffle oil (optional)

Mushrooms are my favorite, you guys. I eat those shits like gangbusters. Roasted, sauteed, souped. So meaty and earthy. Did you know that the cellular structure of mushrooms is more like animals than it is like plants? FACTS (I heard somewhere)! I go to town, y'all. Armnarmnarmnarmnarm.

Heat a large, heavy-bottomed saute pan on medium. Add oil, then butter. Once the butter gets fragrant, add the mushrooms. Make sure they have enough (mush)room! If your pan isn't quite big enough, cook the shrooms in two batches. Mushrooms are very porous, so they slurp up every bit of liquid that surrounds them. You'll see all the butter gone and think "WTF mate?", but soon enough they'll partially release the water they've been retaining, then brown as the proteins caramelize.
Remove from heat, and put in a medium bowl. Toss with salt, pepper, chopped parsley, and truffle oil. I made the mistake of leaving the parsley whole, and boy was it strong and leafy.

Pork loin fried rice


1 Tbsp peanut oil
2 scallions, chopped
1/4 cup red onion, diced small
1 clove garlic, minced
1/4 cup chopped almonds
3 cups cooked rice
2 1/2 Tbsp Chinese cooking wine
2 tsp soy sauce, or to taste
1 cup cooked pork loin, roughly chopped

Get your wok smoky-hot and add the oil. Throw in red onions, then scallions, garlic, and almonds. Immediately add in the rice. Let the rice sit until it smells nutty fragrant, and then stir it up with a wooden spoon. Repeat this process until the rice is light brown and toasty.
Add in the cooking wine and soy sauce.
Finish the rice by adding in the pork loin.