A day for Sue

I don't remember much about how I felt on 9/11. When I see photographs of young children in the arms of firefighters at the site of the Oklahoma City bombing, the pain is remote, foreign, wholly unattached to me like the blood running true from a clean paper cut. Yesterday I will remember forever. I will recall every word of the story of how my friend Susan fell down the steps of her New York City apartment, how she became brain dead, how they took her off life support. Her story, lovely by virtue of its ordinary grace, ended at the mercy of gravity. She will have no more memory to give, no more headlong glances into the future, no more breakfasts, lunches, or dinners, no more friendly nothings on her facebook wall, no dancing, bad mornings, better nights, forgiving laughter, exaggerated opinions, morbid curiosity. To say that she lives on in us is no more than vain hope, the selfish clingings-on of we cripples to mortality. She was good, and there is no more.

Roasted whole snapper with bean salad and strawberry avocado salsa

1 whole 3 lb snapper

1/2 bunch cilantro

Juice of 1 lemon

3 cloves garlic

1/2 tsp white pepper

1/2 tsp Kosher salt

1/2 cup olive oil

2 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, diced

Set the oven to 350F.

Scale the fish. Cut out the organs and slit open the body cavity. Set the fish on foil on a rack on top of a cookie sheet.

Put the cilantro, lemon juice, garlic, white pepper, and salt in a blender. Slowly pour in the olive oil with the blender on high.

Pour the mixture in the fish cavity, along with the diced chipotle. Fold the foil around the fish in a packet, and roast in the oven for about 30 minutes.

Bean salad

2  15-oz. cans black beans

1 15-oz can cannellini beans

1 1/2 cups frozen yellow corn, thawed

1/2 small, red onion, diced

1 red bell pepper, membranes and seeds removed, diced

1 large handful cilantro

2 cloves garlic, minced

Juice of 1 lime

Drain the beans and rinse. Put in a large bowl, and add in all other ingredients. Toss.

Strawberry avocado salsa

6 large, plump strawberries, roughly chopped

8 oz. grape tomatoes, halved

2 avocados, cut into cubes

1 jalapeno pepper

Kosher salt, to taste

1 Tbsp honey

Juice of half a lemon

Cilantro leaves, roughly chopped

Combine the strawberries, tomatoes, and avocados.

Halve the jalapeno, and dice, seeds included. Add this, along with the salt, honey, lemon juice, and cilantro.

Serve the fish on top of the bean salad, with a scoop of salsa on top.